Pass

A smile means a thousand of stories that you will never know ~

What am i feeling now

Clock ticks 

Fan buzz 

Silence rolled across my sight 

I played music on my phone

Hoping to feel a bit better 

But it didn’t work

I looked down to my calendar 

Amazingly it was filled 

But only in the day 

And not at night 

I headed into the room

Feeling empty deep inside 

And knowing that it wasn’t feeling for food 

So i broke down and started crying

媽媽，我想你時候寫的歌

没有你的一天 我失眠 寂寞 流泪
我想念你的画面 想念你煮面
是谁的眼泪 是谁在憔悴
地下的碎片是我心碎
你带我去冒险 突破危间
但现在只剩我一个人探险
眼角的泪 不停的流血
我累 我lay 我痛 我 pain
请你告诉我这是 错觉

你在哪裡
我好想你
我想你的人影
你在哪裡
我好想你
我想你的愛意

I am myself
I am me
Everyday i wake up
Words fly in saying
Other’s Opinion doesn’t define me

However
In the real world
Comment are everywhere

On online
Around u
Non stop reminding u
What u not good at
Why are u not successful

There are no way to stop it
Every step I take
Every swap I make
They spread here and there
Like a wild fire
So if u were me, what would u do?
Will u accept it or run away?

We can’t stop comment but can we stop ourselves from being affected....
My answer
Your answer
We know

19 Sept 2019 Pain

Waking up with little sleep
Looking around for bits
Here and there
I take a peek
Found out I on bleed

Gum swallow
Blood leak
With a tissue, I stop the bleed
Head out to solve the bleed
Seeing needles, I cried a bit
Here I am with no more bleed
But inside out I am still bleeding💔

世界就是不公平，有人得到了，就有人失去。

有的人想得到的东西，努力后还是无法得到。

不管她用尽全力，拼命地往上爬，还是一无所有。

相反的，有的人只要一开口，就能得到他或她想要的东西。 不用努力去争取。

所以呀，世界为什么就是这么不公平呢？ 

我也不知道。。。你们知道吗? 

很多人都说：“不断的努力，你有一天一定能成功。” 但是在这个世界上，努力真的会有成功的一天吗？我觉得只靠努力是不够的。现实的世界里，人人都需要钱来生活，人人都需要一个充满爱的家来生活，人人都需要有一丝丝的才华或者聪明理智的头脑来生活。钱来买或还生活日品，食物，水，学费和等等。一个充满爱的家给你温馨的地方休息。在你伤心难过的时候，有家人安慰你。在你被欺负的时候，有家人支持你，保护你。而才华或者聪明理智的头脑才能念好的学校，得到好成绩，表现的出色一点。

但是如果这一切你都没有，你们知道怎么继续生活吗？ 

只有实力有钱有好条件的人，才可以不管规范，才有资格任性，而那些条件不好的人在规范里，活不下去的人。就只能努力突破，在加封中寻找一点点生存的空间。 我这些年就是这样活的。 我怕失败，会因为失败而再摔倒一次又一次。

没有了可靠的肩膀给我靠，我也好害怕不停失败，不停一无所有。

但 “人生这条路，如果没有几个疤，怎么能说当年英雄事。” ？ 

你们会怎么过生活呢？😕

Looking out of the window
I see a dark sky
Filled with no stars
I took the last courage to walk to sea

Seeing pool of water right in front of me
I'm afraid
I stood at the edge of stone
Feeling the cold breeze
Blowing through my empty heart
Sending thorn signal that pierce through the heart

Deep inside i cry so hard
Wishing a hand to pull it out
But everytime a hand reach in
The chain inside send sharp spade
Stopping the hand from reaching me

Look inside the chain of mine
Filled with lots of lock violation
That cannot be solved
I look down to the sea
Who is welcoming me
And i feel like flying into it

Creation of a product
May be good
And may be bad
Creating a product to help me stay alive
End up pining me down every night

Reflecting on the quality of mind
Tangling wires form inside
Twisting left and right
That makes me wild inside
Can't control the pain inside
Like being stab with thousands of knife

I look around me
Feeling the coldness
As tears drop one by one
Like blood oozing out off a broken wound
Thinking whether I worth to live

😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢
Curfew is an action set
That most of us thought it was a punishment
Me too thought of it
I even thought she don't trust me enough to be outside
Curfew is also a time
That everyone as a kid hate the most
Me too
I hate it so much
However, when she is gone
I miss the word 'curfew'
I miss the time I got scolded for going home late
I miss the time I got ban to go out
I miss the time she got worried

And stsy

I miss the time she waited for me to arrive home
I miss the time she keep on calling me
But i never pick up coz i dont like call
Yet she still carry on calling to check
This is all because she care
This is the way she show love
And I love the caring but is forever gone...💔

Turning around
Left and right
Hoping to get a peaceful night
Here my stomach saying "No"
Churning  throughout the night

Toilet is my second home
Staying in it, multiple time
Only leaving after pills

Pain filled the atmosphere
Reminding me that I am alone
Looking around
I felt cold
As tears formed without a know
I covered myself with blanket
To stop the tears from falling
Like a stopper for running tap

Missing the time when u around
Giving me secure, care
And saying
"Pain will go away.
  Don't worry, I will be here with you"

31st August Jam

Early the morning
I took bus down the street
Looking out of the window
I saw a familiar bottle waving at me
A milk bottle that say: "Hey, you forgot about me!"
But i just say goodbye to it

On the way to destination
The time is ticking
My heart is pounding
My stomach is gurgling
Feeling like going to the washroom
But I believe it was not needed

When I reach my destination
A burning sensation builds up
As hot as though i am running a fever
Follow by the cold sweat
Bursting out
As my round get closer
And closer

I stun when "Wingstop" was called
As i try to get my jelly-like leg up to battle
My heart beats stop for awhile
Hearing my opponent was seniors of mine
Tears filled within me
Together with blood from my injury heating up
And this was the day I understand the phrase
"Blood, Tears and Sweat" combine 

Loving u guys Wingstop💕

Parents Pls spend more time with your kids when they are young🙏

As a child
I grow up feeling lonely
Like a raindrop being apart from one another

Being taught that support is non existence
And I have to survive on my own
Having me
To be as hard as a concrete
Without steel support
And by right I should collapse
But by left I am still standing
Just not as tall as a building

As tight days go by
Cracks form within me
No matter how much cement, water
As though activities
Filled in my life
the cracks within is still not repair

Nothing fix my cracks
So I volunteer
To prevent the crack form of other kids
Hoping that others can live a better life
And that’s me

Distance Journey

Travel down to the tunnel
Through the tracks
And walk in twin

Step on pieces of wooden rails
That are arrange in a set
Rail by Rail laying out 
like the step you take
Day and out 
Continuing journey through the lines
Visiting new expect of life

At some point you are stuck
Meeting new challenges to be solved
Seek help to moving on
Just like the train
With a fault that has been fixed 

There are time to say goodbye
As you travel down different paths
Red, blue, yellow, green
Which paths did you pick?

Light and Shadow hunt me?

What is light
What is shadow
Do you see them
All day all night?

Walking in the night
With a beam of light
Tree swaying
Spirits chatting
Venting machine cracking
And i am still walking

Every step I took
Light close up
Forming shadow as big as I
Turn around in 123
Hearing laughter
I run with all my might

Wandering
if light or shadow is after me

Sleeping was hard and tough
As though I am fighting a war
Every seconds ticks signs to my brain
Every minutes triggers memories
Every hours slap me with reality
And by the time I am awake,
You are gone

As days pass by,
I am growing old
Living in a room without you
I feel cold 
No hug to warm me
No love to support me
No accompany to spend time with me
No shoulder for my crying
What was left behind was me,
Crying,
Struggling,
And Missing you Badly 

Walk together

This is the first time I tried to design something HAHA :) 
Alright, the main message I want to bring across is that YOU ARE NOT ALONE". 
In life, there are Ups and Downs. During Ups time, many people love to share them with their friends, families, boyfriend or even girlfriend. Chatting from what happened from the start till the end of those happiness, great times or good deed. 
However, what about during the Downs time? Do you share your problems with your surrounding people? Some may say 'Yes' while many others say 'No'. For those who said 'No' , have we or ourselves think of WHY? 
The answer to that various for individuals. Some might be due to shyness while others might be  embarrassed, afraid and the list goes on and on... 
I am not going to advice or encourage anyone to speak up because I know how hard it is to be some difficult position to share your problems to friends or others. (I may not totally understand what each of you who are reading my post go through)
However, I am going to say that there are still people out in this world who are willing to give us their listening ears and listen. Be there for you. May not be 24 hours by our side, but somehow still there. 
With addition to that, YOU ARE NOT ALONE! Many people in the world may be going through the same thing as us and are still trying to fight. Thus, let's not think that no one is here for me or I am suffering on my own. COZ I am here fighting my inner war as well as the rest of us. 
SO, U ARE NOT ALONE! 
JIAYOUS :) 
YEAH, LOVE AND PEACE <3

LIFE

LET'S LEARN DANCE TOGETHER

Definition:
Hiphop _ collective consciousness
Hip Hop_ culture
hip hop _product
hiphoppa_ celebrity